Masturbation Monday

I’ve been debating with myself whether to join in with this or not. Mainly because I’m a bit worried about sharing my stories, but what the fuck. And the first anniversary of Masturbation Monday seems as good a time as any.

Three’s Company – part one

I was standing in the kitchen staring out at the darkness. I didn’t hear her come in, didn’t notice her until I saw her reflection in the window. I bit my lip as she kissed the back of my neck, running her hands up my back and around to grab my tits. “Put your hands on the worktop.” I felt the heat between my legs as her hand slipped under my skirt, felt my cunt getting wet. My stomach flipped as her hand reached the top of my stockings and she murmured in approval as she stroked my bare thigh. I still don’t know why I’d chosen the dress and stockings, I was wearing heels too, I never wear clothes like that. I gasped as her hand slid across my stomach and she pulled me against her. “I want to fuck you.” She whispered in my ear. I moaned as she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of my knickers, pulling them down over my hips, sliding them down my legs. “Take them off and give them to me.” I stepped out of them and handed them to her. “Open your mouth.” She stuffed my knickers into my mouth, I could taste myself on them. Her hands went back under my skirt, lifting it up, the soft silk of her dress against my bare arse making me wetter as she rubbed against me. Her hands travelled up my body and she grabbed my tits, squeezing my nipples through the thin fabric of my dress as I ground my arse against her. “I’ve been watching you…” one hand moving slowly down my body. “…imagining what I’d do to you…” her hand slipped between my legs, fingers sliding across my clit making me moan again. “…if I got you alone…” she slid her fingers inside me, “…touching you, fucking you…” I cried out as my cunt tightened around her fingers, pulsating as I came, my juices running down her hand “…making you come.” She pulled my knickers from my mouth and replaced them with her wet fingers, I licked and sucked my come from her hand. She pulled down the zip on my dress. “Stand up and turn around.” My dress slid to the floor as I did. She moved in closer to me, put her hands on my tits, flicking at my nipples with her long nails making me flinch. She lowered her head and took one in her mouth, licking and sucking, biting while she pinched the other. I put my hand on the back of her head and pulled her head closer, moaning in pleasure. I stroked her arse with my other hand wanting to feel her, I lifted up her skirt, she wasn’t wearing knickers. As I ran my hand over her bare skin, she moaned against my tit, the vibrations sending shivers through me. I wanted to feel her naked body against mine, I found her zip and she stood up as I undid it, I pushed the dress off her shoulders, bent my head and started to lick around her nipples. I put one hand between her legs, my fingers sliding across her wet lips, she spread her legs and I rubbed her swollen clit. She pulled my head way from her tits and pushed me onto my knees. “Make me come.” I licked her clit and put my hands on her arse. She grabbed my head, grinding her cunt into my face, her juices slicking my chin as I ran my tongue along her slit. I could already feel her muscles twitching as I went back to licking her clit, running my tongue around it, sucking it. She wrapped her hands in my hair and pulled me even closer as she came, I shoved my fingers inside her throbbing, pulsating cunt, finger fucking her as I licked and sucked her clit and she cried out as she came again. As her spasms subsided and she pulled away from me I heard a man’s voice. “There you are darling. Is this a private party or can anyone join in?”

To be continued…

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Make Me

After my girlie post for Wicked Wednesday I thought I’d share something a bit less  soppy 🙂

Sometimes I’m not a very good submissive. I’ve been on my own for a long time, doing everything by myself. Sometimes I also have problems accepting that someone could really love me. Accept me for who I am and not want to change things about me. Sometimes I get in a contrary mood, especially if I’ve had a glass or two of wine. I don’t get drunk anymore but the odd time two glasses is enough to make me bratty. Then again sometimes I don’t even need to have had a drink, some days I just need to push.

Make Me

We’re lying sprawled across the bed, I’m pinned down by your weight. One arm underneath me, the other underneath you. You have one hand wrapped in my hair and the other one around my throat. Your leg between mine, rubbing against my cunt, wet from my juices, you cock hard against my leg as you whisper in my ear. ‘Why do you try and fight me? You know you can’t win.’ I know I can’t, for fuck sake, you’re bigger than me. Stronger than me. But sometimes I have to fight, to make you make me submit. ‘You know I’m going to get what I want in the end.’ I know you will but that still doesn’t stop me wriggling around under you. Your hand tightens on my throat. Not enough to cut off my harsh breathing but enough for me to feel how easily you could. If you wanted to. ‘I always get what I want. You’re mine to use in any way I want to.’ I know these things but still I know I can’t just give in to you. Your hand moves from my throat to my tit, stroking, teasing my nipple, making me moan. ‘This is mine.’ As you lower you head, licking, sucking, squeezing, pinching until I can’t think straight. Your hand travels further down my body as you kiss my mouth, ‘This is mine.’ Stroking my stomach, my thighs. ‘This is mine.’ As you slide your fingers along my clit and into my cunt, your palm against me, kneading me, squeezing me. ‘All of you is mine.’

‘Please.’ I whisper. As your cock slides inside me, filling me, completing me. All of me is yours as I finally submit to you.

I crave your dominance of me, it is primal, visceral. As urgent to me as breathing. But sometimes I need you to prove yourself. Make me.

Make Me

Everyday Magic

Wicked Wednesday Prompt #169 – I don’t want realism, I want magic.

I’ve never really been a hearts and flowers type of girl. I’ve never really been a girly girl. I’ve never really been a believer in the magic of romance and love. Maybe I used to be, a long time ago but I don’t remember. My reality was being made to feel I was less than nothing, that I was fat, ugly, lazy, stupid, worthless. My reality was spending my days wearing a mask, smiling when all I wanted to do was cry. My reality was pretending that my life was magical, that I had the perfect partner – at least he doesn’t hit me. My reality was that the only magic I had came from those times he wasn’t home, when we could relax, the kids could make noise. He promised me magic, he lied.

Then someone magical came along. He helped to show me the reality. That I wasn’t fat, ugly, stupid or lazy. I was funny, smart, desirable, beautiful. My reality became magical. He didn’t promise me magic but he showed me the way even though he didn’t join me on the journey.

I learned to see the magic in life. Some days I still felt I was worthless, some days I still had to wear the mask but I didn’t have to pretend my life was perfect. We could be relaxed all the time and the kids could make as much noise as they liked. I didn’t have to listen to his lies any more.

Now? I’m still not a hearts and flowers type of girl. I still don’t think I’m a girly girl but you do. I’ve become a believer in the magic of romance and love. My life still isn’t perfect but I have the magic of you. The magic of knowing that you find me funny, smart, desirable and beautiful. The magic that you know when I’m wearing the mask. The magic of your hug that makes everything better. Even though our reality means we still have responsibilities, that we can’t always be together, we still have the magic of our everyday world. The magic of our wandering conversations, the magic of knowing what the other one means when we can’t find the words to explain, the magic of who can find the most dirty words in Scrabble, the magic of being able to laugh together, at ourselves, at each other. And a thousand other things that I couldn’t even begin to explain – but you know what I mean.

Thank you for giving me that magic, every day. x

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My Journey – part one

The tagline for this blog is ‘My BDSM Journey’ so two weeks and ten posts in I suppose I really should write a little bit about it, don’t you?

A very brief history of my sex life: First kiss at 11, first sexual fumblings at 13, lost my virginity (maybe I should say cherry?) at 14. First started masturbating at around that age too. Was I a late starter? I don’t know what the average age is but even with the experiences I’d had I was never really interested in sex, I didn’t particularly enjoy it whilst at the same time I loved it, I can’t work that one out at all, I think I just love having a cock inside me. But I discovered my clit at about the same time I came across a stash of porn mags, oh how things changed! I flicked through them, pictures of all sorts of bits in all sorts of positions. Women touching themselves, touching each other, men touching women, cocks and cunts, mouths hands, dildos, and the stories. I found the stories worked better because I could imagine myself in them rather than trying to put myself in a photo. I fantasised about all of it. Sex with women, sex with men, sex with more than one person at a time, being licked, sucked and fucked while I made my self come.

It was usually the stories involving bondage and being used that I enjoyed the most, soon I had abandoned the magazines and was inventing my own scenarios. I would casually bring up the subject of being tied up with whoever I was fucking and only one guy actually did tie me up but he obviously had as much knowledge of the subject as I did. When I said ‘No, stop.’ As you do, he did. He untied me and that was about it. That happened when I was 19. After that I had to wait until I was 38 for my next willing partner. That was a bit better, but it was still pretty tame compared to what I actually wanted and afterwards I had to tie him up, which really didn’t interest me. But I loved that relationship, loved him. He was the one who started me back on the road to liking myself again and he’s the only man who ever actually made me come.

So we hop through another few years of one night stands, short relationships and one longer one, none of which helped me scratch my itch for bondage or orgasm. I then gave up on men for a while (five years). I was going through a lot of personal and family stuff and I made the decision to concentrate on myself and my kids. I started doing a full time college course and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life and had a 20+ year relationship with a twat. I knew I was a nice person, funny, smart, creative but I had trouble convincing myself that I really was that person, but the course really turned me around. Gave me more confidence, helped to believe that my thoughts and opinions were valid.I was still masturbating though less often, the fantasies got darker, the orgasms still happening sometimes but I was losing interest.

Last year I felt ready to try and find myself a man so I signed up to OKC (again). I live in a small town and as there are very few single men in the eligible category, online dating is really my only option. OKC is my favourite site, easy to sign up and more importantly easy to delete your profile. All I wanted was to meet up with someone once in a while, have dinner, some good conversation and a shag. Not really much to ask? I wasn’t even looking for a kinky partner, just a cock and some adult contact. My profile was rubbish to be honest, my photo was a profile head shot of me in sunglasses (I hate looking at myself in photos) I filled in all the basics; age, height, hair, eye colour, kids, dogs or cats etc. and some really basic information on my interests with the intention of going back and adding more at a later date. I got loads of messages – the usual cast of weirdos and men after money or visas, a lot of young lads ranging in age from 18-23, and a couple from guys in the right age range and at least in the same country. There were even a couple of kinky ones in there but there wasn’t really anyone I wanted to meet. Until I got THE message. It was pretty long for a first message (good), he asked me questions (very good) and he made me laugh (very, very good). So I took a look at his profile, it was almost what I would have written if I had filled out my profile. And he was tall! (I have a thing for tall men.) I replied and we chatted away for a few days, this was over the Christmas holidays, but early in the New Year we arranged a meeting.

And I’ll tell you a bit more about that very soon.