Wicked Wednesday Prompt #169 – I don’t want realism, I want magic.
I’ve never really been a hearts and flowers type of girl. I’ve never really been a girly girl. I’ve never really been a believer in the magic of romance and love. Maybe I used to be, a long time ago but I don’t remember. My reality was being made to feel I was less than nothing, that I was fat, ugly, lazy, stupid, worthless. My reality was spending my days wearing a mask, smiling when all I wanted to do was cry. My reality was pretending that my life was magical, that I had the perfect partner – at least he doesn’t hit me. My reality was that the only magic I had came from those times he wasn’t home, when we could relax, the kids could make noise. He promised me magic, he lied.
Then someone magical came along. He helped to show me the reality. That I wasn’t fat, ugly, stupid or lazy. I was funny, smart, desirable, beautiful. My reality became magical. He didn’t promise me magic but he showed me the way even though he didn’t join me on the journey.
I learned to see the magic in life. Some days I still felt I was worthless, some days I still had to wear the mask but I didn’t have to pretend my life was perfect. We could be relaxed all the time and the kids could make as much noise as they liked. I didn’t have to listen to his lies any more.
Now? I’m still not a hearts and flowers type of girl. I still don’t think I’m a girly girl but you do. I’ve become a believer in the magic of romance and love. My life still isn’t perfect but I have the magic of you. The magic of knowing that you find me funny, smart, desirable and beautiful. The magic that you know when I’m wearing the mask. The magic of your hug that makes everything better. Even though our reality means we still have responsibilities, that we can’t always be together, we still have the magic of our everyday world. The magic of our wandering conversations, the magic of knowing what the other one means when we can’t find the words to explain, the magic of who can find the most dirty words in Scrabble, the magic of being able to laugh together, at ourselves, at each other. And a thousand other things that I couldn’t even begin to explain – but you know what I mean.
Thank you for giving me that magic, every day. x
See who else is joining in.