Finding the words?

This has been a period of dark thoughts, twisted fantasies growing ever more extreme. Thoughts of bondage, spankings, slapping, clamps, pain. Thoughts of being hurt and used beyond our norms. Our norms are dictated by circumstance, not need, wants or desires. I want to travel beyond, I need to be taken beyond. To find that other, to experience the darkness and explore it.

The hardest thing is being unable to express this need, to find the words. Lately I find I can’t even write, too many thoughts swirling around in my head, incoherent visions, incomplete…

The darkness is growing, the mask an almost permanent fixture but this time for different reasons. To hide my needs from those who don’t/can’t/won’t understand. Even if I could tell them. How to explain to others that it not only his presence I miss but all that his presence means to me. How to find the words to express that I need, when I can’t even find the words myself.

5 thoughts on “Finding the words?

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