I Don’t Get It.


Prompt # 182 – Food and sex – This week’s prompt comes from @100AcreSub: “Look its messy, it gets everywhere, who will clean the sheets, and why don’t I taste good enough… These are my first thoughts when someone suggests ‘spicing’ it up. My next thought is ‘have you washed your hands’ since cutting those chillies? And why is the ginger peeled and shaped that way… Less suspiciously, I recall the squeezing of berries over a female body and watching the juices drip across her skin and I smile, smile at her squirming, the taste on her lips, smile as ice cream melted on her nipples and I lapped it up against those peaked mounds, and smiled as I remember another occasion of someone drinking vodka shots from my belly button, the alcohol tingling at my clit as it dribbled down and it was lapped up. Tea and toast the morning after, the satisfaction and the knowledge of more to come, energy reserves lovingly served… Food as foreplay, food as penetration, food as aids, and food as a craving after the carnal feeding.”

I sort of get the whole food thing, but it doesn’t particularly do anything for me. I’ve spent so much of my life just glad to be able to actually eat something at some point in the day (kids!) I rarely eat breakfast, the thought most mornings makes me feel ill, and I’m used to just having a sandwich – one I’ve made, not often a gourmet special – even when I eat out I’m just happy someone else has cooked and I don’t have to wash up. I’ve never had either the time or the money to become a foodie. I can cook, I like to cook, but to be honest I like things that are easy. I don’t want to spend hours chopping, preparing and cooking. I don’t watch cooking shows (don’t watch TV) and I ended up giving most of my cookery books to the charity shop.

Having a quick look at a few different lists about the top foods considered to be aphrodisiac they all include:

Honey – OK I’ll have it in herbal tea, works great for a sore throat. Never noticed any other difference.

Garlic – Whatever.

Figs – Never had them, so can’t comment.

Bananas – Don’t really like them.

Chocolate – Sometimes it’s better than sex – the right chocolate at the right time.

And of course oysters – I mean seriously? The snot of the sea. I really couldn’t think of much that’s more likely to put me off sex.

And the inserting things? Nope.

Being covered in food? Nope, doesn’t appeal to me at all. Nor does licking food off of someone else’s body really appeal.

The one thing I do like about sex and food is the times after really great sex when I’m properly hungry and anything tastes so damn good 🙂

I think TP said it best:

“He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination – but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.” – The Fifth Elephant.

See who else is being Wicked this Wednesday


12 thoughts on “I Don’t Get It.

  1. I love to read a post that shows the other side: someone who is not into food at all. Food has (especially lately) played a huge role in my life, because I am battling to find things that don’t upset my stomach. Through it all I have learned how important breakfast is to me. It really starts me up in the morning. As for oysters… indeed… euwww!

    Thanks for sharing your views 🙂

    Rebel xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m having some issues with food myself. There are some things I just can’t eat any more. I’ll soon be reduced to just plain rice with either chicken or fish. I don’t mind so long as I can still eat chocolate 😀


  2. I’m not much for combining food with sex as my OCD does not like having slimy or sticky stuff on me, but I like to eat before sex or play. I do watch the shit out of the food network. I don’t know if garlic is an aphrodisiac, but I love it just the same.

    Liked by 1 person

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