Food For Thought Friday #3 – Punishment or Pleasure?
Within the D/s community, there are times when it is necessary for a Dom to administer a corrective spanking/caning/thrashing. Our question this week, however is directed to those on the receiving ends of such punishments.
Do you consider a corrective spanking/caning/thrashing as a pleasure or a punishment?
When this prompt went up I thought it would be interesting to write about, and I wasn’t wrong. I’ve had to do a bit of thinking for this to figure out my answer and how to put it into words. As I’ve never actually received a corrective spanking, caning or thrashing I can’t actually answer the question, but I’ll try and express my thoughts on spanking etc. and my thoughts regarding it as a pleasure or a punishment.
Before I met Sir, I’d never been spanked, slapped, caned or hit in any way, apart from maybe the odd playful swat on the backside. It wasn’t something I thought about, it never appeared in my fantasies and it wasn’t something I had any curiosity about. When the subject of spanking came up I was willing to give it a go and I liked it, a lot.
Because we don’t live together, and because, in reality we’re both BDSM virgins so to speak, in our relationship we are both still finding our way, figuring out what works for us. When we’re together Sir is in charge, and if he wants to spank me he will, he needs no other reason apart from the fact that he enjoys it (and so do I).
His belt is a different matter. A spanking is more intimate, because I know Sir feels it too. But with the belt he only sees my reaction and the marks. The first time I wasn’t sure, but now even the sound of him taking off his belt, the anticipation? It’s impossible to describe how it makes me feel.
I’ve only been caned once. Although it’s something we’ve talked about a few times it’s not something we could try at mine, not knowing how I’d react. So it was on the list the last time I went to his house. Turns out I like that too.
A lot of this is tied into the fact that I like pain, and it’s not that I can get into subspace and turn the pain into pleasure. I can get myself into a space where I can take the pain, but I still feel every stroke – and it hurts – but I enjoy the pain. Afterwards I get the good feelings from having been able to take whatever Sir gives, but again, it’s something we’re exploring when we get the chance – how much can I take? And how much will he give?
Usually I’m a good girl, pleasing Sir fulfils a need, but sometimes I need to be made to do something. Because we have the consensual non-consent thing going on too, sometimes I will refuse to do something. If I’m feeling particularly contrary it can get a little rough and I might get a slap round the face or a couple of sharp slaps to my backside, which is usually enough to make me comply. If Sir had to administer a corrective spanking/caning every time I said no I think it would turn something that we both enjoy into something else, something that takes on an entirely different meaning. At the moment I don’t see how we could make spanking/belt/caning as a corrective punishment actually fit into what we have (although when he’s whispering in my ear about getting a dozen men to use me and then beating me for being a slut? That I can see).
I know it works for a lot of people but at the moment it’s not for us. Maybe if we were together more or if Sir had more say over what I do when he’s not here, I honestly don’t know. A far more effective way to punish me if I needed it would be to put me in a corner somewhere and ignore me.
More Food for Thought here