Food For Thought Friday #4
So, for this week’s ”Food For Thought Friday“, we are turning our attention to the subject of Fuck Buddies/Friends with Benefits.
Is it possible to have a long-term “no-strings” sexual relationship?
One of the things I love about this meme is that it really makes me think. When I saw what this week’s topic was I thought ‘I’ve never had a Fuck Buddy/FWB.’ and then I thought ‘Hold on, what about him, and him, and him. Oh and that one.’ But than thinking about it again, none of them were what I’d think of as a fuck buddy or FWB. That implies that you should have some form of friendship or something in common, or at the very least the odd text between meet-ups.
The first one on the list was so long ago, I met him during my brief stint in the civil service, he had a fiancée who he had no intention of splitting up with. He’d come round every few days, we’d talk a bit, fuck and he’d leave. One day he rang to say he’d decided he couldn’t see me any more. He’d gotten his move to the department he wanted and couldn’t take a chance someone would find out about me. Because I’m such a threat to national security. I said fine, and that was that. I was OK about it because I knew I was only a temporary thing for him but I wouldn’t call him a FWB, we never spoke apart from when he came to see me, and we definitely had nothing in common.
The others were more recent, and I wouldn’t consider any of them FWB either, simply because we were more last resorts for each other on a drunken night out. When the club chucks out and you haven’t pulled sort of thing. I never had any contact with them during the week, apart from maybe a hello if we saw each other on the street, but that was about it. And my problem was that with a couple of them I wouldn’t have minded something a bit more, I can get attached to people. I’ve also had it happen that someone gets attached to me, but if you’re not even going to talk to me when you’re sober then you can fuck off. And definitely no turning up on my doorstep at 3am just because I haven’t answered my phone and you’re drunk and horny.
The thing is that I’ve never had a large pool of people to choose from, I don’t do things or go to places where I’d meet many people, especially single men, so finding a FWB is almost impossible.
I suppose it’s possible, for some people, if things are made clear at the outset that there isn’t going to be anything else besides a no-strings sexual relationship then things could work out. But the more you get to know someone the harder it is to not get attached. When I started back at the online dating I was looking for a FWB, someone to talk to, meet up with occasionally and have sex. I said in my profile I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I tended to avoid those who were.
And then I fell in love 😀
More Food For Thought here