Sexiness and Growing Older

Another three prompts in this post 😀

Food For Thought Friday #12, Wicked Wednesday #23 and Word For Wednesday #23

Food For Thought Friday prompt #12 Sexy.

We all have different opinions and perspectives. Beauty (and indeed, sexy) is in the eye of the beholder. So, this week we are asking:

What is sexy? Is it appearance, is it an attitude, or is it just some unfathomable quality that you see in someone?

Wicked Wednesday Prompt #196 Growing Older.

It starts on the day we are born – we grow older. For roughly the the first twenty years of our lives we never think about our age. Maybe some people don’t think about it for the first thirty years. But there comes a time when you do think about growing older. Are you at that point yet? How long have you thought about getting older? How old are you? Do you regret getting older? Why or why not? Come on, talk to us about age, your age! Or, write a sexy story about growing older…

And I’ve used the word Sexy as my W4W

Sexy – Sexually appealing, attractive, or exciting. Having interesting or appealing qualities.

This is a really difficult thing to pin down. When I was younger, teenage years, I was like most teenagers, more interested in looks than personality. I didn’t really have a type, if he was reasonably attractive and interested in me that was sexy. Then there were the years with my ex, he was attractive enough for me to be interested at first, but there wasn’t much to keep me liking him, let alone find him sexy. During those years I didn’t care what anyone looked liked, I’d go out, get drunk, and try and find someone. After I ended the relationship with my ex, I started going out again, I wasn’t looking for love, it was purely sex, and again I would look for attractive guys (shallow) but sometimes it didn’t matter, I just wanted someone, anyone. Mr Right Now, not Mr Right. Sexy wasn’t really the point. Although at this point in my life, for the first time ever I did feel damn sexy! I was 38.

The first time I decided to try online dating I was looking for a relationship, I wanted someone who shared my interest, someone to share things with, and I met someone. We were together for almost a year, we did have shared interests and the sex was fairly good, but I didn’t find him sexy. Very strange.

I’m still not sure what I find sexy, sometimes it’s the way someone looks or the way they move, sometimes it’s the voice (Mr Eugene Noale springs to mind). I’ve had a thing for Colin Firth since I was eighteen, I don’t know why but he’s so much sexier than Hugh Grant. Rupert Everett is another one, Alan Rickman, Christian Bale, all celebs I find sexy sometimes but not always, no reason I can put my finger on but there it is. Joshua Homme from Queen’s of the Stone Age – voice, lyrics and a look he gets sometimes. J from the boy band five, he gets that look too. You know THAT look? When he looks at you like he’s wondering about all the things he wants to do to you? That is sexy! I think sexy, for me, is when someone, does or says something that makes me tingle, makes me think ‘Fuck yeah.’

Shaved head, goatee, mechanics, just an air of hard work, sweat and oil. That’s also sexy. I don’t really like skinny guys or those with lots of muscle, I don’t find that sexy at all! Or loads of aftershave, makes me sneeze and gives me a headache.

Which brings me to now. After taking a five year break from men I decided to try again, back to OKC, this time I didn’t want a ‘proper’ relationship, I wanted sex. But I wanted sex with someone I could see every couple of months, talk to, have a good time with, a FWB, I suppose. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized I need mental as well as physical stimulation. Again, sexy wasn’t really needed, although really good, intelligent conversation is very sexy. I’m too old to worry about sexy. Or so I thought. When I started talking to Sir we messaged every day, we talked about everything (except sex funnily enough) and by the time we met I felt like he was already my best friend. Even then I wasn’t thinking about a relationship, I was planning (hopefully) for some sex, but if we didn’t click that was OK. At least I’d finally found someone who understood me. And I think that now HE is what I find sexy, we can talk, he makes me laugh so much, he’s taught me to be more relaxed about myself, I know I can talk to him about anything, even though I still have trouble with that. His hands, his voice, everything about him is sexy. And he makes me feel sexy. And for the first time I can see myself growing old with someone.

More Food for Thought Friday here.

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More Wicked Wednesday here.

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And more Word For Wednesday here.

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9 thoughts on “Sexiness and Growing Older

    1. It really has helped me that someone finds me sexy. Also the fact that I know that he cares about me, he worries about me. All the things I was missing before, the things I didn’t realise I needed. Caring is sexy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I like how sexy has changed for you too over the years. The same with me. And what I like a lot is that you and your sir were best friends before you were officially lovers. My husband definitely is my best friend too 🙂

    Rebel xox

    Liked by 1 person

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