Birthday

Sinful Sunday #42

It’s been a couple of months since I took part in Sinful Sunday, to be honest I feel it’s a bit off if I can’t look at other blogs and leave comments when people are commenting on my photos. I still find it hurts too much sometimes.

But today the blog is a year old (never thought I’d get that far!), and as my first proper post was a Sinful Sunday, and it’s prompt week I thought I’d post a pic. It’s an old one from April when I was trying to like my bum, it didn’t quite work but I have pretty much come to terms with myself over the last few weeks so some things are better now 😀

From Below

 

More Sinful Sunday here.

 

Sinful Sunday

Bare

So, today is the last day of ‘Arse Appreciation April’. Can’t say I’m sorry to see the back of it. I do feel slightly better about my butt 🙂 Not a huge amount,  but (haha) enough to have come to accept it for what it is. Which was the whole point of the exercise I suppose.

Tomorrow is the start of ‘Mixed Bag May’ (thanks to liverpoolmunky76 for the suggestion). When I’ll be posting photos of a mixture of things 😀

As I didn’t post a butt photo yesterday today I’m posting two 🙂

Bare 2

Bare 3

Editing Photos

I thought today I’d show you some of the editing process.

I take a photo like this

First step

Crop it to how I want

Cropped

Sometimes I’ll change to B+W or maybe sepia. Sometimes I’ll adjust the brightness and contrast, but this one was OK

B+W

And sometimes I’ll soften it or add some graininess, it depends on the photograph and the look I want.

Last

So there you have it. I generally keep the editing to a minimum. No airbrushing or anything too much.

Unless I want something like this.

Extreme

Limits

Wicked Wednesday #29

Yesterday was shit.

Today is a better day, helped by the fact that I had a nice half-hour chat with one of my favourite people who I met in the shop this morning. He was the first person I knew who I could talk to properly, he got me, he doesn’t judge and is one of the smartest people I know. I’ve known him for a few years, he knows my family, knows what we’ve been through and has helped us so much. I could never thank him enough for everything he’s done.

I was debating about posting this as I’m fed up of only posting stuff about how shitty I feel right now. I wrote it yesterday which was a pretty bad day, not the worst I’ve had lately but not the best either. I probably won’t be writing very much for now, unless I can write something dirty or cheerful.

Prompt – Off limits… what is off limits to you? Why?

offlimits

Not so long ago I hadn’t found any limits. I was still exploring.

But right now everything is off limits.

I still try and work on my blogs, this one as well as the photography one but I’m finding it hard to find much enthusiasm for anything lately. Most days I wake up feeling good, feeling positive, but I find as the day goes on everything starts to irritate or upset me. It starts out small, maybe a tweet or photo I see online, then it gradually gets worse. Some days start out bad, like today. The thought of writing anything sexy makes me feel physically sick as does the thought of having anyone ever touch me again, why would anyone want to? If I don’t like me, why should anyone else? All the usual crap.

Negative 2

On those days, the really bad ones I find myself thinking ‘what good is a sex blogger who can’t even think about sex?’ I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate the fact that I can’t get out of feeling like that. I’m so tired of it.

Negative

Changing my meds isn’t having much effect yet, but it’s only been a couple of weeks, just need to give it time. At least I haven’t had any side-effects (so far). To be honest, right now I’m feeling worse than before. At least I know why I’m feeling crap and what’s causing it, which strangely does help.

I will still be taking photos and hopefully the occasional burst of inspiration will strike and I’ll be able to write something. It has happened a couple of times lately.

As ever I’ll keep fighting it and hope that things improve soon.

More Wicked Wednesday here.

WickedWednesday