One or More?

Food For Thought Friday #30

Monogamy – do you think it is our natural inclination?

Are you in a monogamous relationship or do you live a polyamorous life?

If you are monogamous, is it by choice? Do you find it easy or is it a struggle?

I think some of us are more suited to monogamy than others. If your partner fulfils all your needs then maybe there’s no desire to look for anyone else, but if you need something that your partner either can’t or won’t provide that’s where the problems can start. In a lot of conventional relationships that sort of things can cause huge upset, which is why communication and honesty is so important. Society still seems to expect you to have one partner for life, and for some people talking about sex and anything else besides buying houses or having kids is still difficult, especially in some places, although things are so much better than when I was younger.

All the relationships I’ve had have been monogamous, I don’t ever remember making a conscious decision to be monogamous, that’s just the way things worked out. I’ve never actually been in a situation where I’ve had the opportunity to have more than one regular partner, so I can’t really say if it’s something I could do. I tend to get too clingy. Maybe it would be better if I had two or three partners. I have had a couple of times since moving here when I’ve been seeing more than one guy, but I wouldn’t classify any of them as relationships, it just seems to be the way here. If you’re both out you get together, if not, you find someone else.

With my ex I found it difficult to be monogamous but that’s more because I wanted out of the relationship as none of my needs were being met. I just didn’t know how to get out of it.

I think it all comes down to the people involved. If you’re happy with one person, good for you, if you’re happy with more and everyone involved is open with each other that’s good too. I think the world needs more happiness.

More Food For Thought here.

Just a Number?

Food For Thought #25

F4TF #16 - Kinky Fuckery

They say age is just a number… but how important is it to you?

Do you have a preference when it comes to the age of your sexual partners? What is it and why do you think you have it?

Is there a limit in terms of age that you will not break? What’s too young or too old for you? Why?

Age has never really been something I thought about, it’s more the person than how old they are.

I think it comes down to whether I’m thinking about sex or relationship – if I’m going to spend a lot of time with someone it would be very important that we could actually talk about things, but if it’s just sex then that’s not really so much of an issue, although I suppose there would still be some talking.

Growing up I mostly was with fellas around my age, maybe a couple of years older, but I don’t think I could have gone out with someone a lot older. When you’re young most men over thirty would have seemed ancient.

The last time I really spent any time going out was when I was in my late thirties and all I wanted was sex. The youngest lad then I think was nineteen, there were a couple in their early thirties and one who was 26. There was very little conversation.

The couple of times I thought seriously about some thing a bit more long-term and tried online dating I was looking for someone in the 40-55 age bracket, old enough to have some life experience but still young enough. I never excluded anyone if they were outside this range, I had some fun conversations with older and younger men.

I don’t know if I have age limits, obviously they’d have to be old enough, but I don’t think I could go younger than about 20, I just feel a bit old for anything less than that. As for upper limit, again I don’t know, it would depend on the other person and how we got on rather than how old they were.

More Food For Thought here.

Trading Places

Food For Thought Friday #23

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be someone else? Specifically what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex, if just for one day?

If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex, would you? If so, how would you spend that day?

At the moment I’m finding it difficult to write about some things. Like previous subjects about boobs and women’s bits thinking about this has confirmed how much I hate being a women. I don’t feel like a man nor would I want to be a man but I really don’t like being a woman either. When I was younger I wanted to be a boy, I didn’t feel like a boy but I always thought they had more fun. And when I hit puberty, boobs, periods and all the rest of that crap I really would have rather been a boy. Pregnancy and having kids, being the main carer because their dad was a waste of space, made me want to be a woman even less.

I think I’d like to try being a man for a day, just to see what it’s like to have a cock, how it feels to touch it, how different would it be to come, how it would feel to have sex from the other side as it were, and to get a blow job. All the usual things I think a lot of women are curious about.

More Food For Thought Friday here.

More Bits

Food for Thought Friday #21 – Bosom Buddies

Over the last couple of weeks we have asked how important penis size is and your thoughts on female genitalia. To round off our series on “naughty bits”, this week we are turning our attention on breasts…

(As with the last couple of posts, once again it’s a multi-layered question this week, so answer it all or pick what appeals to you, your call!)

For guys and girls who like girls – what is it that you like about boobs? Is there an ideal shape or size?

For girls – how do you feel about how you feel about your “girls”? Are you happy with them? Have you always been?

For everyone – do you think the female “chest” has been over sexualised?

Oh god, I’ve had an ongoing love/hate relationship with my boobs ever since I got them. As a teenager I hated them, I thought they were too big, I could never find a bra that fitted properly and I would always wear a baggy top. I even used to think about having them made smaller. I didn’t like them being touched and more than a few times I’ve had sex with a top on.

It took a hell of a long time for me to learn to like how they looked (late 30’s) and to wear tops that showed off my cleavage. I still wasn’t keen on them being played with, my nipples are so damned sensitive I can’t touch them and I couldn’t take more than a couple of minutes before I’d be pushing hands or mouths away.

Now I’m back to not liking them so much. Not surprising right now with the way I feel about myself at the moment. But a decent bra and I’ll still wear a low cut top and the size doesn’t worry me any more. But age and gravity are doing their work and there’s not much I can do about it short of surgery and I’m not doing that. And after finding out they prefer a bit of rough treatment, I’m back to not wanting them touched.

I like to look at real boobs, there are far too many fake ones out there, which leads me to my biggest problem about boobs. I don’t know that they’ve been over sexualised. I grew up with the Sun and Star newspapers – boobs everywhere. Sex is used to sell everything, you see photos everywhere of scantily clad models and celebrities advertising all sorts of products, in media stories the latest buzzword seems to be ‘racy’. And yet they, particularly FB, vilify women breastfeeding, showing scars or sharing breast cancer stories. There seems to be a distinct double standard for some when it comes to women’s bodies.

More Food for Thought Friday here.

My Bits

Food For Thought Friday #20 – Lady Parts

Last week we asked how important penis size is to you.

This week we are flipping it and talking about the lady’s bits and bobs:

(It’s a multilayered question this week, so answer it all or pick what appeals to you, your call!)

For guys and girls who like girls -does how a woman’s genitals look matter to you? Do you think there is an ‘ideal’ look?

For girls – how do you feel about how you look “down there”? Are you happy with it? Have you always been?

For everyone – do you think porn has impacted on how we think about the appearance of women’s genitalia? (Bleaching, hair removal, cosmetic surgery etc?)

I wrote about this before for Pussy Pride, and there’s a photo there. I feel worse about it now then I did then. I’ve never liked to look at it. Not that I’ve ever been told there’s anything wrong, quite the opposite. I also have no idea why I don’t like how it looks, I just don’t. I did take some more photos this morning, I have looked at them but I have no intention of editing them or ever posting them. It has nothing to do with porn or how women are ‘supposed’ to look. I know that there are as many different looks as there are women and I like to look at them. I just don’t like mine. Maybe that’s part of the reason I hate oral. You can do what you want with it just don’t look at it.

And there’s no way I’m dedicating a month of photography to it to try and make me feel better about it either.

More Food for Thought here.

Some Thoughts on Size

Food For Thought Friday #19 – Size Matters?

F4TF #16 - Kinky Fuckery

A recent chat I had on twitter prompted this week’s question… 

If you have sex with men, how much does penis size matter?

If you are a straight guy, how do you feel about the size of your package? Has it ever been an issue for you?

Size isn’t that important to me, technique and other skills are important too. The build up and anticipation, waiting for that first thrust, OMG! Delicious, although the build up could be just bending me over and pulling down my clothes. To be honest I just love the feel of a cock inside me

Not being a huge fan of oral, mouth and fingers are only going to get me so far before I need cock. Most of the men I’ve had sex with I suppose have been average (not that I’ve ever measured anyone) some longer, thinner, thicker, but nothing I’d describe as huge. I don’t think I’d enjoy that to be honest. There is such a thing as too big, for me anyway, some guys in photos or porn films just look unreal (and scary). I think I prefer thicker, to feel filled and stretched, but again, not too much. I have been with a couple of guys who were small, they didn’t seem bothered by it, but unfortunately I was as they weren’t much good at anything else either. And I’d never laugh at any man’s bits, no matter what size or shape they were. There is such a thing as good manners 😀

More Food For Thought Friday here.

Love, Risk, Bums and Lace

Both the posts I started writing for Wicked Wednesday and Word for Wednesday were far too depressing. I’ve been up and down and all over the place again. I’ve another visit to the GP next week so I’ll be talking to him about whether I need to adjust my meds.

This week’s Wicked Wednesday is all about edges – The prompt is about being on the edge.

Living life on the edge… taking everything from life that it has to offer. Being on the edge… does it scare or excite you?

Being on the edge scares me. Having spent much of my life on a financial edge, and the stress I’ve had through the years with life in general, all I want now is some peace. Not a very sexy idea so here’s a picture of an edge.

Hot Pink Lace

This is about the most exciting thing I do now. Which brings me to my Word for Wednesday. This week’s word is Hope – Grounds for believing that something good might happen. I have to have hope. And one of my hopes’s is that one day I won’t hate my bum quite so much!

I’m also going to link to Food For Thought Friday which was about the riskiest thing you’ve done for sex or love. This is, I do it for my love of photography and writing, and also in the pursuit of learning to love myself.

More Wicked Wednesday here.

More Word For Wednesday here.

And more Food For Thought Friday here.